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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24965107">lost lullabies</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/daesbeanie/pseuds/daesbeanie'>daesbeanie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Insomnia, M/M, Memory Loss, Mention Of Homophobia, Science Fiction, Solo Artist Baekhyun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:54:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24965107</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/daesbeanie/pseuds/daesbeanie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Baekhyun receives a ten-year-old package.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Challenge #4 — Into the Future</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>lost lullabies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You underwent a <em>Memory erasure</em> three years ago?"</p><p>The doctor pushes his glasses back, eyes not leaving the medical record on screen. Baekhyun doesn't deny what he said.</p><p>It, "Memory Erasure", is a 22nd century psycho-technology which helps people remove any specified mental image of a personal event or an individual that's no longer wanted. The technology is so developed that it can even twist the happenings inside the memories and is irreversible, much conveniently.</p><p>Baekhyun doesn't elaborate since Dr. Lee seems to have only asked about that out of curiosity, though Baekhyun could've added he has never bothered to know what he tried to "erase". Baekhyun understands himself best; people can't change his mind once he has decided upon something, not even his current self.</p><p>"I will prescribe a little diffrently from your previous doctor, hopefully this time your insomnia will get better in a few weeks. Think you should try putting more efforts into relieving stress, Mr. Byun. How about music?"</p><p>Baekhyun doesn't really give the doctor a response other than one "thank you" afterwards. On his way home, Baekhyun thinks about how ironic his doctor's advice is. It sounded just funny to him since Baekhyun himself is a singer, one who had many young girls tell him that he helped them, that his voice gave them comfort and brought them joy.</p><p>Happiness. Baekhyun can no longer remember the last time he genuinely felt such a thing. Just like how he can no longer recall what he deliberately erased.</p><p>Baekhyun blames his misery on the fact that he was kicked out of his house when he was nineteen. On how his sexuality wasn't something to be accepted. Since then, he's been leading an empty life for a solid decade.</p><p>It's fine by him, Baekhyun thought, it just means that he has the ability to endure it for another ten years, he concludes as he struggles to shift himself away from something that's blocking his entrance.</p><p>Oh. There's <em>something</em>. </p><p>A parcel, higher than even Baekhyun.</p><p> </p><p>===</p><p> </p><p>"Can I call you Jongdae?"</p><p><em>What</em> Baekhyun refers to doesn't answer him, its only response is a tranquil gaze underneath long, pretty lashes. <em>It</em> is so beautiful. Baekhyun, sitting on the edge of his bed, admired each of its flawless features before he says out loud that silence can only mean "yes". <em>Jongdae</em> doesn't answer him again.</p><p>It's been a week since the humanoid, now named Jongdae, got sent to Baekhyun in a giant cardboard box. "Kim Jongdae" is actually the name of the sender, and this person registered the parcel ten years ago through a memento business. The service provides silicone clones of its clients and delivers them at a scheduled time. These robots have a variety of customised actions and speeches programmed beforehand and are timed to be active for only one month. On the thirtieth day, they will be permanently shut down.</p><p>Based on Baekhyun's research, people tend to send their clones to themselves due to how similar this concept is to time capsules, and since Baekhyun can't recall ever meeting a Kim Jongdae in his life, the whole situation is just absurd.</p><p>But it doesn't matter now.</p><p>Jongdae can sing. And he sings so well, Baekhyun may add, as the latter found himself getting the much needed sleeps when unfamiliar melodies fill his room every night. Jongdae's voice is so beautiful, so gentle yet powerful, it goes perfectly well with how breathtaking Jongdae looks and makes Baekhyun feel things. Baekhyun finds comfort and sympathy in his songs. Though they are nowhere to be found no matter how much time Baekhyun spent searching on his computer, the melodies and lyrics are engraved on his mind.</p><p>
  <em>"At the end of this loneliness,</em><br/>
<em>Just turn off the lights today."</em>
</p><p>Tonight too, Jongdae only sings again.</p><p> </p><p>===</p><p> </p><p>"Three years ago, instead of just giving myself the permission to keep the registration document, I gave my mother the access. The woman who I haven't met for ten years. I was a cunning asshole, see, the me of that time must have thought he could bury the truth forever by doing so."</p><p>Baekhyun says as he walks, hand squeezing Jongdae's tightly. The latter doesn't answer, doesn't respond, only follows Baekhyun like he always has.</p><p>"However..." Baekhyun trails off, the scenery starting to become strangely familiar "I know what I tried to erase was you. I can't remember, but I'm so sure of it. Jongdae, you're too precious for me to just let you go."</p><p>It's the twenty-ninth day. They're in front of their truth.</p><p>The old door opens. His mother cries, and Baekhyun finds both him and Jongdae enveloped in a warm embrace.</p><p> </p><p>===</p><p> </p><p>"Baekhyun-ah, happy birthday!</p><p>Are you surprised? Are you? Probably not huh, since it must’ve been sooo obvious from the start.</p><p>A week ago, on my birthday, you told me that I'm the most beautiful human that you've ever seen... so I came up with this idea. It's mostly for when I become old and ugly and can't sing anymore, this way you can still see and listen to the nineteen-year-old Jongdae!</p><p>Baekhyun-ah, the twenty-nine-year-old me must be sitting next to you right? And we're happy, am I correct? I know we are.</p><p>The first week we left our town, I noticed how distressed you were. You told me you could never handle losing me, so the pain was something you must take. </p><p>But I don't want that to happen again. You will never have to be afraid of losing me. I will make sure you never forget how happy we can be together.</p><p>Let's travel the world when we're thirty, by the way, for my nineteenth birthday wish. Let's make lots of memories.</p><p>And let's never forget about us.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The android's gaze loses its warmth.</p><p>But it's fine by him, Baekhyun thought, as he looks at the beautiful young boy in the photo on his hand.</p><p>His childhood friend who was in an accident five years ago. The love of his life. Kim Jongdae.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading! To tell you the truth, I originally planned not to participate in this round since Into the Future was the theme I least wanted to win T_T Miraculously I came up with this idea when the challenge was posted so here we are. I know I suck at writing angst and the plot was very very vague, but I hope you enjoyed reading even if just a little bit!</p><p>To clear a few things up, Baekhyun's memory wasn't actually restored since as mentioned, the effect is irreversible. The important thing that was written on the document was the object of the erasure, and since Baekhyun's mother knows Jongdae she told him about what she knew (specifically, only events before they moved out). Also Jongdae didn't pursue a musical career so that's why Baekhyun couldn't find him as well as his self-written songs on the internet after all &gt;&lt;</p><p>Lastly thank you mod N, for the challenge and the beautiful graphics as always!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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